The Mirror

It has always intrigued me how people will do or say almost anything to avoid the facts and find justification for their action or even their lack of action. One of the hardest things for many people to do is to look into the mirror and recognize their own responsibility in any given situation. Often we look around us to find some environmental issue or another person to blame which of course is much easier because it does not require us to feel bad or make any changes. We can justify anything simply by changing the way we look at it. People are accustomed to hearing me say that “life is all perspective” it is simply how you look at it and that rarely fails to be true.

How many times has something happened and without hesitation you had one or two reasons (excuses) ready for why it happened. How many times have you set a resolution, goal, or simply said that you were going to do something and failed. Now ask yourself this question how many times did those reasons involve you being at fault. If it was rare, if there always seems to be other influences or people that cause these things then we have to assume one of two things. Either you are an amazing person who always says and does the right thing or you are reluctant to analyze your own impact on those situations and act on what you find.

For example; you have a good friend that you spend a lot of time with and who means a lot to you. You enjoy the fact that you can always share things with this person and are secure in their confidentiality. This person is not only always there for you but also seems to go the extra mile for you on a pretty regular basis. They are kind and considerate and often will put your wants or need in front of their own. Suddenly this person starts seeming distant, stops calling you, and stops inviting you to do things. You get angry and confront this person which makes them angry. They point out some of your faults during the heated debate and you go your separate ways. Has this ever happened to you? Maybe not exactly like that but at some level with friends, family, or even coworkers? It is easy to point the finger of blame at this person and trust me if you think hard enough you will probably come up with enough things to have them banned from the community. However before you make that call ask yourself these questions, am I a giver or a taker in this relationship? Do I invest my time and actions to help this person, make this person feel better, or ensure that this person is getting what they want, or am I always finding things they can do for me? Did I say or do something that I should not have? Did I not say or do something that I should have? Did I overreact to the situation? Analyze these things from their perspective not yours and if you say you don’t know their perspective than you already have your answer go apologize!

This same principle applies to our personal and business goals as well. If we set a goal to lose ten pounds and fail is it really because we didn’t have a diet partner, no place to exercise, or can't afford healthy food. Or was it simply because we ate the wrong foods when we went out, refused make time for exercise, and always found a birthday, holiday, or random celebration which required eating and drinking to much of the wrong things. If you are in sales and your numbers are down was it entirely due to the economy, your region, your tools, the lack of tools, your manager, or you coworkers or was it that you did not set clear written goals, train, organize your time, prepare for selling, get in front of prospects enough, and then use what you had learned to close the deal?

Take the first step, look into the mirror, be honest and tell yourself what you see. Then come up with ways to improve in the areas that need it, and most importantly take action now. Do not procrastinate as that is a certain recipe for failure.