Christmas is for Love: (auther unknown)

Christmas is for love. It is for joy, for giving and sharing, for laughter, for reuniting with family and friends, for tinsel and brightly covered packages. But, mostly Christmas is for love. I had not believed this until a small elfin like pupil with wide innocent eyes and soft rosy cheeks gave me a wondrous gift one Christmas.

Matthew was a 10 year old orphan who lived with his aunt, a bitter, middle aged woman greatly annoyed with the burden of caring for her dead sister's son. She never failed to remind young Matthew, if it hadn't been for her generosity, he would be a vagrant, homeless waif. Still, with all the scolding and chilliness at home, he was a sweet and gentle child.Christmas Is For Love

I had not noticed Matthew particularly until he began staying after class each day [at the risk of arousing his aunt's anger so I learned later] to help me straighten up the room. We did this quietly and comfortably, not speaking much, but enjoying the solitude of that hour of the day. When we did talk, Matthew spoke mostly of his mother. Though he was quite young when she died, he remembered a kind, gentle, loving woman who always spent time with him.

As Christmas drew near however, Matthew failed to stay after school each day. I looked forward to his coming, and when the days passed and he continued to scamper hurriedly from the room after class, I stopped him one afternoon and asked him why he no longer helped me in the room. I told him how I had missed him, and his large brown eyes lit up eagerly as he replied, 'Did you really miss me?'

I explained how he had been my best helper, 'I was making you a surprise,' he whispered confidentially. 'It's for Christmas.' With that, he became embarrassed and dashed from the room. He didn't stay after school any more after that.Christmas Is For Love

Finally came the last school day before Christmas. Matthew crept slowly into the room late that afternoon with his hands concealing something behind his back. 'I have your present,' he said timidly when I looked up. 'I hope you like it.' He held out his hands, and there lying in his small palms was a tiny wooden box.

'It's beautiful, Matthew. Is there something in it?' I asked opening the top to look inside. 'Oh you can't see what's in it,' he replied, 'and you can't touch it, or taste it or feel it, but mother always said it makes you feel good all the time, warm on cold nights and safe when you're all alone.'

I gazed into the empty box. 'What is it, Matthew' I asked gently, 'that will make me feel so good?'

'It's love,' he whispered softly, 'and mother always said it's best when you give it away.' He turned and quietly left the room.

So now I keep a small box crudely made of scraps of wood on the piano in my living room and only smile when inquiring friends raise quizzical eyebrows when I explain to them there is love in it.

Yes, Christmas is for gaiety, mirth, song, and for good and wondrous gifts. But mostly, Christmas is for love.

Start where it matters most yourself!

During the holiday season we have the opportunity to look back and reflect on the year past. What we discover will help shape the year to come. Regardless of what we hear about a variety of industries people are still going to buy cars, houses and rent apartments. Gifts will still be under the tree and my wife and I still enjoy going out to dinner and having a drink together. Business will grind on, it may be different but it will continue and it is up to each of us to evaluate ourselves, our business, and use what we find to ensure that we are ready to take on the next year and move forward to success.

Over the past few weeks I have considered much of this as I prepare myself for the new year to come and wanted to share a couple of the main points that keep coming up. These are basic principles that have a huge impact on the incomes of sales people and yet seem easy to forget.

In sales we are self employed business owners! Our income is based strictly on our actions and our attitudes. Just like in business there are outside influences that can affect out attitude and our numbers but ultimately it is up to us to find a way to move forward successfully. We must invest in ourselves, train ourselves on basics, train on new products, track our own numbers, keep our business current, and keep it in front of our prospects to ensure that we are meeting the needs of our clients. We must have a solid business plan that guides us through the next days, weeks, months, and even years.

History repeats itself! The same problems that faced sales people or businesses twenty years ago are facing them today. Sure the names and descriptions have changed but the concepts are still the same. For example I recently picked up an older sales book (26 years old) and flipped through a few pages. I noticed a list of objections that the trainer was going to address in the following chapter. The economy is bad, I don’t have any money, I’m cutting back, and I need to think about it were just a few. These sound strangely familiar don’t they? These are things that business owners and sales people will always face, the difference is how they prepare for and deal with them.

Positive attitude applied to action is everything! In almost every sales environment that I have worked in I have seen this principle in action. The opposite side of the coin would be the good salesperson whose attitude is in the tank and they have gotten themselves caught up in company drama, gossip, or complaint mills, and regardless of skills can’t seem to get their numbers up. I have also seen countless examples of a situation where sales were down for any variety of reasons or the economy was bad and in the midst of a group of sales people who focused their attitude and effort into complaining there was one or more sales people either producing the same amount of sales as usual or producing more sales than usual. These sales people knew that if they were positive and increased their daily sales activities that their number would be fine.

We must ask ourselves this question, if there are things from last year that I am not happy with what am I going to do different this year to improve it. What people am I going to consult with and what tools will I use now that I did not before. What training will I do to ensure that when opportunities present themselves to me I am prepared? There is an old saying that rings just as true today as ever “if we keep doing what we have always done we will keep getting what we have always gotten”

Whether you want to improve your health, your income, your relationships, or any number of possible New Year resolutions I encourage you to start where it matters most, with yourself! Eliminate the reasons why you can’t and find the ways you can, and most importantly start today!

Weight of the world!

Isn't it amazing how in the midst of any amount of joy the weight of the world can come crushing down on us without warning. Sometimes to such a degree that we feel as though the very breath has been robbed from our chest.

All of us experience this in one or more ways many times during our lifetime and yet we are never prepared for it when it hits. Whether it be the stress of daily life, the ending of a relationship, a sudden life change, the loss of a loved one, or maybe the sudden emotional concentration of several events spanning many years triggered back to life by a current event, holiday, or the sudden reintroduction of someone into your life.

As someone who prides himself on optimism, energy, and the ability to turn any lemons into lemonade it never ceases to amaze me how hard these moments can hit and how little warning they give us. We all have demons lying under the skin, some dormant some just quieted temporarily. What is the cure, what measures can be taken to prevent these attacks or at least minimize the pain that they can inflict.

We are made stronger by our pain and the good lord brings us closer to him through it as well so tonight I pray to my god:

Father please hear your humble son this night. Please enter my heart and mind, purge the darkness that has settled in, shine your light on all of the areas of my life that you have blessed me. Show and remind me of all of the blessings I take for granted each day. Give me your peace knowing that those in my heart and on my mind this night are with you and rest in your kingdom. Grant me your strength to prevail in this battle against the darkness that ever threatens to overtake my heart. Wrap me in your loving arms and grant me your wisdom to recognize the earthly representation of your arms as they try to embrace me so that I do not turn my face and heart to them as so many times before. May the love of the lord embrace me and give me peace. Amen.

Discipline truly is the bridge between our goals and our accomplishments.

As I drove back to work yesterday from lunch with my sons I reviewed the conversation that we had and found in it a simple truth that applies to many different aspect of out lives. First let me share the conversation that we had or at least the summary of it.



I had given my youngest son an assignment. The assignment was to send me an e-mail describing what he thought the following quote means. The quote was “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments”. After his third answer which was not even close as he was thinking as I am sure most teenage boys would of the wrong type of discipline, I decided we would analyze it together. We looked up the word discipline and established the correct usage of the word and then proceeded to review the quote. After we had finished we laid out the order in which they came, goals, discipline, and accomplishment. It was a good conversation and we were able to apply it to his homework, chores, and other areas of life.



As I drove back to work I realized how often the misunderstanding or lack of application of this concept affects our lives. Whether in regards to weight loss, fitness, business, money, relationships, any of these and many others, are destined to failure due to a lack of the discipline required to reach our goals and experience the sense of accomplishment that comes with it.



Often times we are so bogged down with justifying our inaction or failure or simply blaming others for it that we do not take the time to analyze and except our own responsibility for what takes place in our life. I realize of course that looking into the mirror and analyzing ourselves is not easy to do and pointing the finger at ourselves when our actions or attitudes are to blame is even more difficult however it is imperative hat we do this on a regular basis.



Discipline truly is the bridge between our goals and our accomplishments. We must have the discipline to review our past year, write down our new goals, write down how we will get there, and then follow those instructions each day. Most importantly we must look into the mirror each day and ask ourselves am I doing the best I can right now, am I a positive influence on the people around me, am I giving one hundred percent towards finding a way to get to my goals instead of finding excuses why I can’t get there.

A quick thought on relationships

Relationships must change and grow or they fade away. Often in sales or in business we become owners of the relationship instead of partners which makes us more vulnerable to our competition. Let’s look at the difference.



Owners tend to hold on to and protect their relationships like property. In theses relationships we often find ourselves in a comfort zone, reluctant to move out of it and change the relationship to keep it current. Often times we spend more energy on selling others on why our clients can’t instead of selling our clients or prospects on why they should. We become order takers throwing Ideas around hoping they grab a few. Often times in these cases the ideas we are throwing around are based on old information or perceived goals instead of current information and goals. The result is the same whether it is a personal relationship or a business relationship the relationship either dies off or slowly decreases over time until it is a shadow of its former self and once that happens it can be very difficult to re-build.



Partners on the other hand bring something to the relationship and constantly update it to keep it current. Often times our value to any relationship is our understanding of current events, our empathy towards them, and our advice or counsel on how to move forward. We may even have tools at out disposal that will assist our partners in moving forward. This applies to friends, family, and business partners. Think of times that you have helped friends or family through a difficult time or even just counseled them on a question they had. You may have even offered them a tool like money, your time, your car, your home, or other things to assist them. Business relationships are no different, we must listen to and understand our client’s needs or problems (some call it their pain), and empathies with them then offer our expertise and tools to assist them with overcoming their challenges and reaching their goals. Both our products and our knowledge must reflect the changing market, economy, and their changing needs.



We must always be vigilant in our analysis of how we handle our relationships as once the bridges are burned it becomes very difficult to re-build them.